February 27, 2008
Grand Daddy Purple
February 27th about 9PM in San Diego
It was warm for real today. No idea what “temperature”, but I rate it “perfect”. We stood with our backs to the dining area window, the sun setting in earnest and just beginning to turn violent shades. Eating pitas with raw delights inside, and talking about how all the people that walk by a floor below don’t “touch their junk” in our alleyway. “All these people…” he started today. “Everybody’s driving and walking alone… and nobody’s junk is hanging out… nobody’s touching their junk, or…” he trailed off. We lawled. It’s always about junk with you. But that’s OK, especially because I… well, he knew about my things already. Moving on.
Living in an urban area that also has (and is cultivating) respect for community is really pretty badass. I meet, for fleeting moments, these wild and wonderful people. We relate all conversations to each other, and I try to give a flawless delivery. We come home or call and within the minute say something to the effect of, “Duuude, I talked to this GUY today”. Eyes widen and the other party smiles widely and nods in understanding. We tell people are weird stories way, way, way more than people are so rad stories.
This tale can be summed up thusly: Right now I’m in my chonies and a t-shirt (that I dumpstered from the alley behind my house!!!) because the weather has been that sublime today. I so happy!
And note to self: Interest in 2008 Halloween finally appeared in the last week or so. Whew. I quietly feared that I was becoming too square. Psych! Just last night, while watching Shaun of the Dead for the umteenth time and playing Zombies!!! Mall Walker expansion game, I had an idea for a combo Halloween decoration and/or prank. It was sparked by the realization: we never see printed matter pertaining to zombie outbreaks. There is a very logical reason to this, but the average person has not thought about their zompocalypse strategy so they certainly won’t have the same realization about undead signage. And San Diego zombie walks happen! This is a recipe for success.
And also, I think I may end up loving Yoko Ono. I’ve been reading all the John Lennon biographies at my library and they say little about her. What is mentioned, even when- or maybe especially when- it’s meant to be unflattering, sounds interesting to say the least. Some of the things I read, her quotes, they’re just… beautiful and simple and true. I wonder how many Ono biographies there are.
And finally: I still have 2 crushes. Still! One I am writing about, and might eventually have to loveknife. Oh hah hah did I type that? And leave it there? tee hee. How’s “Love You Like a Scorpio” for the story title?
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February 6, 2008
Years in the Making
Every so often, I get so angry I can’t move. It’s like the fight or flight response went into overdrive and fury just paralyzes me. Breathing and the beating of my heart feel like the only areas that my body is attending to, and both are a struggle. My fingers are just becoming mobile again, and it struck me that I’d better vent via writing, lest I make a poor decision IRL.
2 days ago the nightmares returned. Since my teen years I only ever have nightmares about one thing: the people whom I am tied to by blood. I’m gunna leave it at that. This is a note to self and a warning, all wrapped up in one.
I say, for the bajillionth time: We are through, and I am leaving. I am never good enough for you, and you have never loved me. Go away and never come back. I’m not one of you anymore.
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